annaangel (preciousann) wrote,

  • Mood:

not sure what to say

my feelings on a lot of things are not to good. there are certain situations i have been in and now i see i did some of them to myself. im just meant to do wrong i guess. no matter how hard i try i mess things up. most things werent my fault, i see that now but... somethings like down in north carolina with the people i was staying with there, that was my fault. i never should have gotten involved like i did. i got way to close to them. i asked to get hurt. i didnt ask for everything that happened but i basically walked myself into it all. it seems like i was wearing a blindfold and walked right into it. exept when i took the blindfold off i stayed instead of leaving.
i am tired of the moodswings. i was fine and now i just want to runaway. im tired of this. i just want one mood all day long. no switching moods and thinking about krap. i just want one peaceful day.
tomorrow is work im not looking forward to it right now at all. i dont want to deal with the crazy schedule that i have to get things done.  i dont want to deal with my other manager coming in the next morning and giving me all the krap he always does. he is always negative about everything. never says anything positive. he is never nice. he doesnt care what we go through all night long trying to get things done. he just cares that there is one peice of paper on the floor or a french fry accidently left under a table. we have 5 hour to get the entire store clean and do all the prep and its only me and one other person all night long.
wednesday i have to go to mental health for my meds and then off to the gym
im sitting here alone once again and my brain is going a million miles an hour.  i have so much to think about. and chance in my life that need to be made but i am so afraid.

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