i want to hurt myself so bad right now. i dont know what is triggering this feeling. maybe its the nightmares. i dont know what else could be making me feel this way. i mean i love where i live and i like my job. so it has to be the nightmares. i dont think it could be anything else. anyways i guess thats all i really needed to say. i dont want to get into talking about the other subject again that does nothing but make me mad.