my poor baby last night when to sleep not feeling well and i am hoping that when she wakes up she will feel much better. i hate when she is not feeling well. today if i have the money i am going to get her something at the store. but if i cant get it then i will wait til my next check.
another thing we are doing for our anniversary next week is going to go see the new harry potter movie. i cant wait. i love those movies and so does patty its something she wanted to do so we are going to do it.
hopefully i will have enough money for everything because i dont get a check next week because of my accident i got into last wednesday. i wrecked a moped cause i had two dogs chasing me and i almost hit a truck. it was scary. but i have whiplash and a concussion from it and a lot of bruises and bumps. having a hard time with work too cause my back and legs are messed up. i tried to go back to work the other day and only made it 2 and a half hours and the room just started spinning on me.
i got a picture of my sister yesterday on my phone. i cant believe how much she has grown up. i feel like i have missed years and years of her life. i hate being away from her. but i know i have to live my life and be happy too. michigan just wasnt making me happy. i love my family up there and i wouldnt give them up for the world. but i love north carolina and i absolutely LOVE patty. i would do anything for her. she is my everything. my life. everything i have ever dreamed of in a relationship. she keeps me going and makes me want to live from day to day. i still have my depression but i havent had the thoughts of dying in a year now. i waited so long for patty to come back to me because i was stupid and left the first time. god i love this woman. i really never thought i would get a second chance to show her how much i truely love her but i was wrong and here we are together and happy and i wouldnt give that up for anything. i want to grow old with patty and take care of her and make sure she gets what she wants and what she needs. one day i want to marry her. i want to put that ring on her finger and say i do. she is so beautiful to me. i hate when i go to work because she is not with me. i hate being away from her. i love her so much i just want to be with her all the time. i dont care if people say its not healthy to be around someone ALL the time that is what i did with her for the first year almost and now i have to work and i am away and i hate being away it kills me i miss her so much when i am not home. i just want to wrap my arms around her and never let go.
just makes me wish i could put her in my pocket and take her where ever i go.
anyways patty i am 100% in love with you. you mean everything to me. you are what keeps me going every day. without you i would be lost. i was before you got in touch with me a little over a year ago. i was very lost and very confused. i did everything the years we were apart to find someone atleast a little bit like you but i never found anyone. you are too beautiful and too smart and too loving. i will never find that in someone else. you make me feel needed and wanted and loved. something all the other guys and girls i have been with have never been able to do. when you smile when i walk in the door from work it makes me feel like i am special and that i was missed while i was away. even if it is only for a few hours. i love spending time with you. before we were together i loved being alone. i slept most of my days away and i didnt care cause i had nothing to really look forward too. but now sometimes i hate sleeping cause i never want to miss one moment with you. and i hate being alone. i miss you way too much when we are apart.
please always remember patty that you are my life. you are my world. and without you i would be lost. i never want to lose you again. and i will do anything and everything i can to keep you in my life for as long as i can. i believe you are that one person for me. im just sorry we lost all the years we did because i was being stupid and stubborn. we lost a lot of time together that we could have had growing closer and stronger.
i love you baby. now i have to stop writing because for one i am crying lol. yeah me big baby lol. and two if i keep writing no one will want to read it because it will be too long.
i love you hunny. and so happy we are together.